Friendly Reminders:
- Make date nights just the two of you. Group dates are great, but they should not be the norm. You need time for just the two of you.
- It is important to do the little things no matter how simple they are.
- There is always going to be an excuse to not go on a date--make it a priority.
- It is possible to go on dates when you have kids--you may have to get creative and make it simple.
- Communication is huge--talk to each other.
Valuable Ways to Connect as a Couple:
- Weekly date nights (group dates are great, but make sure it is the exception not the rule—you need date nights with just the two of you)
- Couple rituals (as simple as greeting each other when you get home)
- Talking time
- Go to bed the same time
- Attend the temple at least once a month together
- Celebrate your anniversary
- Exercise together
- Have daily couple prayer and scripture study
Quotes about Family Time from the book The Intentional Family:
- “The main ingredients in a marital date are privacy, enjoyment and conversation” p.72
- “The wedding anniversary is the birthday of marriage.” p.75
- Ideas for making your anniversary a love ritual:
- “Talk about the fact that [your] anniversary is approaching”
- “Plan a special date or trip”
- “Remind [your] children and others about the anniversary”
- “Ceremonially wish each other a happy anniversary”
- “Spend some time talking about [your] history and future together” p.76
- “The forces of entropy are powerful in marriage these days, more so than in parent-child relations, where children help us by insisting on time, attention, and rituals…love rituals are a renewable source of fuel to keep us afloat and heading in the direction we fondly wished for when we bravely committed ourselves to be partners for life.” p.79
- “A couple’s date that includes other couples may serve as a way to build community but not as a way to build couple intimacy.” p.197
Articles Worth Reading:
Anatomy of a Great Date
Date Your Husband?
Find Time in Your Marriage
Keep the Sparks Flying
Response to overcoming challenges to your couple date night:
I read this comment at the bottom of a random blog post one day and thought it was excellent. The woman who commented said:
"The most romantic dates I have been on
have been the ones that were more creative and thoughtful…rather than
expensive. You do not have to spend money to have a good time. Simply going on
a walk and holding hands can be just what you need at the moment.
If you can’t leave the kids…then think about
just leaving them inside and escaping to the back yard or porch…or garage even!
Let the kids know it is date time and let them have a “camp-out” of their own
in the living room. They can get out sleeping bags and pop popcorn while
watching a fun movie. You and your hubby can have a picnic outside and snuggle
on a blanket. Sit in the car and listen to your favorite music and eat your
favorite junk food like teenagers do :) Play a card or board game on the porch
or put on some slow music and dance. None of these activities cost any money…and
you are accessible to the kids if the need arises.
The truth is…
there will always be an excuse or a reason to put off date night…
but make a commitment to it. Nothing is more
refreshing and rejuvenating than when I get to spend time with my husband
alone…so at first I had to start demanding that time from life because it was
not originally there. I had to start making it a priority until that
time was there on a regular basis and nothing got in the way.
It is not a want…it is a need. All couples need
this time. So just do it! :)"
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